“So. How’s everyone’s summer going? Here’s an excerpt from mine so far, one that accurately depicts our day to day sh-t-show,” wrote Karen Johnson on her Facebook page 21st Century SAHM. Johnson said she was making grilled cheese sandwiches for her kids — two boys (ages eight and four) and one girl (age six) — when her sons asked if they could get the mail.
“Okay, fine. I give them the mail key and out the door they go. How could this go wrong?”
So. How's everyone's summer going? Here's an excerpt from mine so far, one that accurately depicts our day to day shit-show.
Scene: I am cooking grilled cheese on the stove for the kids' lunch. 8yo asks to go get the mail (the box is a few houses up the street). Not to ever miss out on anything ever, 4yo pipes in, "Me too!" Okay, fine. I give them the mail key and out the door they go. How could this go wrong? Such a simple task.
Hahahaha.
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Scene: I am cooking grilled cheese on the stove for the kids' lunch. 8yo asks to go get the mail (the box is a few houses up the street). Not to ever miss out on anything ever, 4yo pipes in, "Me too!" Okay, fine. I give them the mail key and out the door they go. How could this go wrong? Such a simple task.
Hahahaha.
... See More
A simple task, perhaps, but Johnson admits that her boys fight — all
day, and pretty much every minute they’re awake. So as she prepared
their grilled cheese sandwiches, her daughter came tearing into the
kitchen, yelling, “They’re fighting at the mailbox! And then mail went
flying everywhere all over the neighbourhood!”
“So I abandon lunch and sprint outside. I see both boys scrambling around from yard to yard, trying to grab pieces of mail. We live in Kansas where it’s windy 364.5 days of the year, so that helps,” she continued. “My 4-year-old is now approaching the corner where our quiet cul-de-sac meets a very busy street, and I know him. He’ll think nothing of running directly into the street in order to capture that last piece of random junk mail that mommy will be tossing as soon as we get home.”
She chased after her son while simultaneously screaming his name and picking up mail that blew all over the neighbours’ yards. Thankfully, she caught up with him and prevented him from darting into the busy intersection.
“But because he’s 4, and refuses to walk anywhere ever, and is on an anti-shoes campaign this summer, my son of course runs down the street barefoot and falls. He rips open his foot on a rock or the pavement or whatever is in the road because THIS IS WHY WE WEAR SHOES.”
At this point, Johnson is half-carrying, half dragging a bloody-footed, crying 4-year-old and a sobbing 8-year-old who thinks he’s in trouble because of “mail-mageddon.”
“Once the papers are tossed and the bloody foot is bandaged, we all smell the sulfur of burning grilled cheese and I remember what I was doing before this all happened,” she concluded. “So I did what any good mother would do. I scraped off the burnt parts, threw them on plates, and said bon appetit, kids. And I poured this beer.”
“So tell me, how’s your summer going?”
ALSO SEE: Days of the week underwear ‘horror’ story goes viral
“I am laughing because this sounds like my house EVERY day. My 8-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son fight ALL. DAY. LONG. I tell them they would fight over used toilet paper if one of them thought the other one wanted it.”
“This sounds like a day in my life too… minus the daughter. I am so glad I am not alone with 2 crazy boys who fight over everything & nothing ! I am laughing but only because I can so relate ! #momsclub #teammom”
“Thank God I am not the only one who goes through this mess. I have three boys 7, 6, 5 who like to fight. The thing is, you never which two it’s going to be. Some days it’s the 7 and 6-year-old against the 5-year-old, or visa versa, or any other combination you can think of. There are days I think to myself, ‘Where did I go wrong? I must be a horrible mom, they just will not chill.’ It’s very reassuring to know I am not alone and my boys seem to be fairly normal.”
“I’d just like to say that I’m glad to find another dark beer mom. All due respect to the wine moms of course.”
“So I abandon lunch and sprint outside. I see both boys scrambling around from yard to yard, trying to grab pieces of mail. We live in Kansas where it’s windy 364.5 days of the year, so that helps,” she continued. “My 4-year-old is now approaching the corner where our quiet cul-de-sac meets a very busy street, and I know him. He’ll think nothing of running directly into the street in order to capture that last piece of random junk mail that mommy will be tossing as soon as we get home.”
She chased after her son while simultaneously screaming his name and picking up mail that blew all over the neighbours’ yards. Thankfully, she caught up with him and prevented him from darting into the busy intersection.
“But because he’s 4, and refuses to walk anywhere ever, and is on an anti-shoes campaign this summer, my son of course runs down the street barefoot and falls. He rips open his foot on a rock or the pavement or whatever is in the road because THIS IS WHY WE WEAR SHOES.”
At this point, Johnson is half-carrying, half dragging a bloody-footed, crying 4-year-old and a sobbing 8-year-old who thinks he’s in trouble because of “mail-mageddon.”
“Once the papers are tossed and the bloody foot is bandaged, we all smell the sulfur of burning grilled cheese and I remember what I was doing before this all happened,” she concluded. “So I did what any good mother would do. I scraped off the burnt parts, threw them on plates, and said bon appetit, kids. And I poured this beer.”
“So tell me, how’s your summer going?”
ALSO SEE: Days of the week underwear ‘horror’ story goes viral
“I am laughing because this sounds like my house EVERY day. My 8-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son fight ALL. DAY. LONG. I tell them they would fight over used toilet paper if one of them thought the other one wanted it.”
“This sounds like a day in my life too… minus the daughter. I am so glad I am not alone with 2 crazy boys who fight over everything & nothing ! I am laughing but only because I can so relate ! #momsclub #teammom”
“Thank God I am not the only one who goes through this mess. I have three boys 7, 6, 5 who like to fight. The thing is, you never which two it’s going to be. Some days it’s the 7 and 6-year-old against the 5-year-old, or visa versa, or any other combination you can think of. There are days I think to myself, ‘Where did I go wrong? I must be a horrible mom, they just will not chill.’ It’s very reassuring to know I am not alone and my boys seem to be fairly normal.”
“I’d just like to say that I’m glad to find another dark beer mom. All due respect to the wine moms of course.”
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