Or Not? Audrey D. Brashich
The latest fitness social media trend the Revenge Bod is bringing women a sense of empowerment. (Photo: Women’s Health)
Credit Khloe Kardashian
with kicking off the Revenge Body trend. Citing her rough divorce from
NBA star Lamar Odom and being called the “fat” Kardashian sister as
motivation, Khloe dropped 35 pounds thanks to an intense fitness regime
and diet makeover. But instead of hiding away while healing her
heartache, Khloe’s taken the expression ‘Looking Good Is The Best
Revenge’ to a whole new level by sharing her success with her millions
of followers and landing on the current cover of Women’s Health magazine. It seems like other celebrities are following suit: Kourtney Kardashian
(who’s getting over cheating boyfriend Scott Disick), Perrie Edwards
(former fiancée of former One Direction member, Zayn Malik) and Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans
are flooding their feeds with photos that feature their bikini-clad,
well-toned bodies…and that deliver the ultimate revenge message: “Eat
Your Heart Out.”
Wanting
to look good after a breakup is nothing new. In fact, it’s actually
healthy. “Hitting the gym, getting a new style, going out and
‘reclaiming you’ are all fantastic ways to end the cycle of feeling
bad,” explains Daryl Cioffi, M.Ed, an adjunct professor of
neuropsychology at Johnson & Wales University in Providence, RI.
It’s probably why singer Miranda Lambert just debuted a new platinum
blonde bob after splitting from husband Blake Shelton. It also explains
the number of women who invest in Breakup Botox, or who overhaul their
smiles after a split. “We see more and more women including dental
improvements or reconstruction in their post-divorce makeovers,” says Lindsey Marshall,
DMD, a cosmetic and general dentist in Ardmore, PA. Their clients book
their appointments after their settlements are reached and before
starting to date again.
Singer, Miranda Lambert, posted a picture of her short haircut after her split. (Photo: Instagram)
For
twenty-year-old Kendra (her name has been changed), a college student
in San Diego, CA, getting a hot body was what drove her to start
exercising after breaking up with her girlfriend last year. “Knowing my
ex would see my posts was absolutely my main motivation for working out
in the beginning,” Kendra admits. Spreading stunning pictures on social
media accounts is a surefire way for people to be certain that their
exes will see their new look. “We’re in an era obsessed with ‘likes,’”
explains Sara Magee, PhD., associate professor of communications at
Loyola University in Baltimore, MD. “It’s become part of our psyche to
care what others — including strangers — think.”
However,
once Kendra started to see her own progress, her perspective shifted.
“It went from being about exercising to look good to creating a major
changes in my diet, lifestyle and goals. That’s when I realized that I
was actually doing all this for myself.”
Jen, 35, who founded the blog MyRevengeBody.com
after several hard breakups and unhealthy relationships, agrees. “It’s
not about looking good as revenge anymore for me, it’s about living
well.” She’s also out to ensure that younger women struggling with body
image and self-esteem issues after failed romances will take positive,
empowering steps to health instead of wasting time hating their bodies.
“It’s validating to refuse to put up with anything less than you
deserve.”
Another
serious bonus stemming from this trend: women are being nice to each
other online instead of trolling and insulting one another. Scroll
through #RevengeBody on Instagram, or Khloe or Kourtney’s feeds and you’ll see plenty of comments like “#GetItGirl” and “You so
have this.” Apparently, nothing unites sisters in solidarity like being
wronged or dumped by a romantic partner — and frankly it’s a welcome
change from the general rudeness that rules the Internet.
Kourtney Kardashian shows off her Revenge Bod post break-up. (Photo: Instagram)
Which
is exactly what Anna, 28, from southern Mississippi, found once she
began posting on Instagram after her husband of five years announced by
phone while away on a business trip that he wanted a divorce. “I’ve
received so much online support and motivation from both friends and
people I’ve never met,” says Anna who’s dropped 40 pounds. “Other users
gave me ideas for workouts to try, and nutrition information.” What
turned one of the hardest times in Anna’s life became a period of “can’t
fail determination” that’s resulted in more self-respect than she’s
ever had.
But
is it possible to take Revenge Body efforts too far? “It’s a vulnerable
time just after a breakup,” says Shehla Ebrahim, MD, Medical Director
of Afterglow, a medical aesthetics clinic in North Vancouver, British
Columbia. Sometimes clients can mistakingly think excessive treatments,
and over-exercising, are surefire paths back to happiness. In fact, Dr.
Ebrahim frequently counsels patients against drastic or
numerous treatments at a time when they might not be thinking clearly or
dealing with other issues. “Sometimes it’s important to work on things
inside first,” says Dr. Ebrahim.
Maybe
it’s time to envision a version of revenge that has nothing to do with
appearance — one that doesn’t presume the thing that an ex might be
missing most is flat abs or trim waist. “The Revenge Body trend is
training all of us to think that we’ll be happier once our bodies are
closer to a specific ideal,” says Jennifer Berger, Executive Director of
About Face,
a non-profit in San Francisco, CA, that aims to equip girls and women
to resist harmful media messages. “And wouldn’t it be great if women
found fulfillment in other ways than fishing for compliments and
affirmation from strangers or followers?”
Seems like we aren’t there quite yet. But maybe with some hard work and dedication, we’ll all start to see what we’re missing.
Related:
You Deserve Body Confidence (and Hot Sex) No Matter Your Size
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